Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize