I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
did i walk over a car last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
