it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
