i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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