Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
