the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
