Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
