i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
