Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
