i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i think my cat just said my name.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
