She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize