How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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