I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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