I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
