Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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