Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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