You smell like stripper and shame
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
