...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
