haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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