Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
