i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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