yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
