Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
