when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize