My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
