She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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