k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dear god my vagina.
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