Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
