There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
