I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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