i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
