why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
