My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
