If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
