Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
bring money and cleavage
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
