are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize