So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
