Where did you get a picture of my penis
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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