Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize