Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
