Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
