is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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