Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
