idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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