shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
