Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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