its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
