Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
