Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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