Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
