I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
