Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I could fuck to npr.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
