I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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