If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
