just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
