so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
