well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
