I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
