shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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