I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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