I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize