she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
There's always time for handjobs
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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