sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
