are you still at the devil's house?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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