I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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