It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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